New Review: Newly Released on DVD/Blu-Ray: ‘Water for Elephants’
I don’t know, but I enjoy a snarky review from time to time, so I thought I’d share this with you all Oh, and I don’t think I need to say it.. but just in case… SPOILER ALERT! LOL
For bitter people living in the desert: Water for Elephants
Thirty-five-year-old Reese Witherspoon is a cougar on the prowl with 25-year-old Robert Pattinson in this adaptation of the best seller by Sara Gruen. Witherspoon portrays an unhappily married woman in an abusive relationship with a circus owner (portrayed by Mr. That’s a Bingo, Christoph Waltz) who has too much in common with Michael Vick when it comes to the animals. Pale-Face Pattinson portrays an Ivy League student who drops out of college after the death of his parents. He haphazardly winds up joining the circus due to the fact that his father was a veterinarian. His childhood experience with animals allows him to overcome their previous instances of abuse and along the way, MILF-y romance ensues between an unhappily married woman and an oversexed, handsome man who happens to have awful, terrible, hideous hair. Water for Elephants was generally well received by critics and a moderate box office hit relative to budget. The home video market is where its fortunes will soar, though, as that is where Twilight fans can sit at home and wistfully fantasize about Edward Cullen, the vampire elephant whisperer who likes older women in addition to younger women who bite their lower lip a lot.
LOL! Hideous hair? Really? LOL Ummm.. yeah, whatever….
I think he really means well, but one thing he failed to mention is how we’re all going to watch this movie on repeat-repeat-repeat!